My 1st Love

You know that bubbly feeling you get when you meet that someone…well I didn’t have that. I hated her at first. I hated her as much as a seven year old could. From the moment she joined my sunday school class she was someone every girl wanted to be and every guy wanted to pick on (they knew they liked her). Basically she was their IT girl. And I would catch her glancing at me, or more my stuffed animal cat sunflower (I was seven okay, I still brought stuffed animals with me). Then the next sunday she came in holding the exact same cat!!!! Only her’s was a boy named Tiger. I think everyone could see my hatred towords her then. But then something funny happened we started talking through our cats (again I was seven). And all the anger melted away and I was left waiting for the next sunday when I could finally talk to her. We had sleep over and she got me into neopets. Apparently our cats fell in love with each other and we had several beautiful wedding services for them. Then we started calling each other, once we talked for over eight hours 🙂 and our parents either had to ground us or take the phone away to keep us from not talking to each other. And when our parents demanded that we needed to get off the phone we would use the long good-bye and talk to each other for another hour. We never slept at sleepovers, we had too much fun. She was the friend that I would risk my life for. She was the most important person in my life. And I started having dreams of us getting married in the future. But I’d never heard of two women getting married so I thought it was impossible. I didn’t worry cause I thought that we’d always be together. Then my dad got a new job and we moved. Luckily it was only two hours away so I still saw her and we always talked to each other. After awhile I began to notice that I lingered a bit when we hugged, I never wanted to let her go. It just felt right. When I was ten I started hearing about gays and at first I thought “now I have a chance with her. We can have a relationship.” But immediatly after that I heard them saying it was a sin. I was horrified with myself. I couldn’t be in love with her, if I loved her she would go to hell. I couldn’t sleep, I would cry alone in my room and I couldn’t tell anyone. Then I started to ignore my friend. She’d be safe if she hated me. But she never did, no matter how many times I tried to ignore her calls she always called me back. So I didn’t pick up the phone anymore it was too painful to hear her voice, warm and loving, ready to forgive me. When she finally stopped calling me I thought it was over…then it happened again. Someone new had entered my life

I’ll have “My 2nd Love” up soon

Love ya,

this is sunflower/Tiger


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