Archive for the Taking A Stand Category

Destroying The Closet

Posted in Glad To Be Here, Lis&Kelsey, Love, Taking A Stand, The Secret Circle, The Vampire Diaries, WTF moment on November 13, 2010 by rantingkame

If any of my friends/ family happen to read this before I get a chance to tell you I am very sorry, but I’ve been dying to blog about it. I’ve known that I had an interest in girls since eighth grade when I fell hard for one of my classmates who happened to be Bi. So I thought, “Maybe I’m Bi? Or maybe this will pass.” W-R-O-N-G!!! It went in the opposite direction. I seemed to have no motivation to have any relationship with a guy outside of friendship. And then I would see a beautiful girl at the mall and wonder “What’s she like. Oh, crap she’s looking at me? Is she into me? Does she think I’m a freak? Etc…” I desired a romantic relationship with a girl. I just couldn’t see myself married to a man. The thought of kissing a guy was just akward; while a girl’s kiss might’ve sent me to cloud nine (depending on the girl). Then A LOT of memories came flooding back at me. I remembered thinking about marrying , lets just call her childhood friend A, and it wasn’t just one time, but I put it all aside once I found out how the Bible “felt” about it. I was TOO spiritual. And all I could think about was running away from those feelings. My folks were going through a divorce, I had NO family near me, and I went to a private Christian school. I was scared. So I did the exact opposite of what you should do, I drown myself in the world of guys.

Dark times.

Dark times.

I even went out with one of my (ex) guy friends for a month. Nothing offical at all. And then this summer I finally realised that I was full on LESBIAN!!! Again, I was scared. But by that time we (my mom and I had moved). However it was ten minutes away from my puritan grandma. So I kept it hidden as the new school year started. Then my saving grace came. While doing a poetry unit in Creative Writing class, one girl in my class wrote a poem, coming out of the closet. And nobody in the class mocked her, shunned her, or isolated her at all. And I admired her for being brave enough to come out to her peers, and I was ashamed that I wouldn’t even keep up a relationship, a wonderful friendship, with friend A, just because I was afraid of who I was and the feelings she brought out in me. The next day I came out to the class as well. By the end of the week my closest friends knew and accepted that I was gay. Weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and the air seemed to lose its thickness. I was out of that damn closet which I had hidden myself in for so long. Its my life and this is who I am, can’t change it.

I am a lesbian.
Kane

P.S. The reason I haven’t been doing The Vampire Diaries reviews lately is because: (1) I’ve been swamped with work. (2) I want to enjoy the episodes for awhile. That’s it. I’ll continue next year. Plus CW might be making The Secret Circle into a TV pilot. Crossing fingers.

Kame Takes A Stand

Posted in Taking A Stand on May 24, 2010 by rantingkame

Today Kame’s gonna be taking a stand about two personal things.

1. Kame believes in magic. And NO its not the kind the people tend to stereotype as witchcraft or faires..etc. Kame’s talking about the feeling you get when that one moment happens. For me its late at night reading a book to candle/ flash light or when night becomes dawn.

2. Kame’s dad has some problems. This winter break Kame went down to her dad’s place and found that his girlfriend and her kids (who[kids] Kame thinks are awsome) had moved in. Kame’s dad had failed to tell her and her mother that before she went down. They didn’t even tell her at the airport or on the ride there. So Kame gets there ( still dazey from lack of sleep) and notices that there is new furniture in the house, and that most of the old furniture has been moved. She goes to her room and finds that her old furniture has also been moved out and that half of the new furniture has not even been put together yet! There was also lamps in one corner and boxes in the other. Plus her favorite fish lamp was gone!!! (It was a B-Day present). She later found out that they had given it to one of her kids. So she stays there two days before her dad even tells her why they moved in (and she had to ask him). The day after that they travel for like three hours in a silent car! Then they get to a hotel to see an ice show. (Kame freezed her freaking butt off)! So they get back to the hotel room and Kame’s mom calls ( now for those of you who don’t know, Kame’s ringtone at the time was “New Divide” by Linkin Park, which was very loud). So Kame wanted to get out of the room so that she could have some privacy to talk and that the others wouldn’t be bothered. Now let Kame ask you this, if your ringtone goes off and you really need to get out of the room quickly, are you always going to remember to say “excuse me I need to step outside and answer this,” NO at the time it was a flight on flight instinct. So Kame’s dad gets mad at her, but guess what folks, Kame’s dad spend about a good half of his everyday life on his phone. And he barely ever says “excuse me”! Okay so after we got back my dad’s GF started to avoid him like the plauge. Because of that Kame and her dad got some alone time. Which really just flat out sucked! Kame shows her dad her blog and he sees some of the advice that she’d given people and asked her what she thought would help his relationship (or what was left of it) with his GF. HOW IN THE HELL WAS KAME SUPPOSE TO KNOW THIS! SHE’S STILL A TEEN! So she tells him to go see a theropist. Well guess what guys..THEY ALREADY WERE SEEING ONE! And Kame was suppose to top that how? Anyways the days got more and more stressful from then on. First there was the New Years eve party. Kame asks her dad what he wanted this year, you want to know what he asked for? Exact words:” A little bit of happiness”. The man, forgive Kame, BOY! Has a pool, two cars, an airplane, a motorcycle, a weight set, two drums, the woman he “claims” to be in love with, and this little ‘picture perfect family illusion’. And here Kame is, the front door to her house won’t open (don’t ask her why, she won’t answer), her mom is going to school full time, the roof to her house was leaking at the time (we’ve got it fixed). AND HE WANTS ‘A LITTLE BIT OF HAPPINESS’ ? You don’t freaking see Kame asking for that! So as she is trying to control her anger ( also known as WWlll) her dad asks her to go and see if his GF wanted to give out the little [Kame doesn’t remember what they were called]. Okay so here he is having a fight with his GF and this may be a chance to be brave and go try to mend it. But NO he sends her instead. HE IS A COWARD!!! What person sends there child into a situation like this. Kame’s dad, thats who! So his GF gets an additde and just goes “whatever”. Was Kame the only one with common sense at the time?!?! They were SUPPOSE to be the adults and they freaking act like that! Then it was the last day (Kame was thanking God 24/7 that day). And her dad comes in and tells her that they were going for a driving lesson. The first part was good then he asks Kame to park. Now Kame had only had one lesson before, and she still hated parking. So she tries to park and ends up getting caught in between the cement parking block and a bush. (Kame’s smart like that peoples). So when they can’t get that car out they walk back to the house. When they get there Kame begins to cry for the first time in months (she’s not kidding people). So she heads for the one place that she knew she would be safe in (her room). But her dad stopped her and told her that everything was going to be okay and all she needed to do was just relax. He also told her to tell his GF what happened. Then he left even though Kame was still crying and scared. His GF walks by (Kame still crying) and Kame could not bring herself to tell her what had happened. So she just walks away and leaves Kame there. Luckly Kame was still able to make her plane home that day. Well Kame’s never going back down to that hell again no matter what! And Kame knows her dad is reading this so all she has to say is,, ” own up to your faults and don’t make me be the parent”.

That’s it for today’s Kame makes a stand.

P.S. Kame is going to be writing a book about all this (her problems with her dad). She’s let you know the title later.

P.P.S. Kame loves writing in third person.

Laterz,
RantingKame